Busy Days

Well, we are getting down to our last days of waiting, which feels SO great! We have been very busy taking care of details. Last Friday we had a prenatal appointment with our pediatrician. She was great and cleared up a few concerns for us. The only negative (which really is a positive), is that she recommended shots for both of us - and not the fun kind of shots :-) Chris had to get the flu shot (he didn't get one when I had mine) and we both had to have our Tetanus shots updated. Apparently they now contain pertussis or whooping cough and she recommended we have that before we bring the baby home. We went last night and got that all taken care of - our arms are killing us today! We have an appointment tomorrow to get our car seat installation checked at the fire station. Finally, on Friday, we have an appointment with our attorney. It's all coming together quickly! As I sat with a friend today trying to find time to get together and I planned with a teacher to try and get together before I take a leave from work, I realized just how close we are!

Highlights

One of the highlights of our adoption story has to be when birthmom asked us to attend her sonogram with her. We were so thrilled! Here are some of Tyler's first pictures. It was absolutely amazing to see him in action and to learn that it was a boy! The sonogram was the best experience ever (and one we thought we might never have). We are so thankful for the opportunity to be so involved in this pregnancy. This ultrasound happened at 19 weeks and we are now almost to week 36. It's so hard to believe! Just two weeks ago I was also able to attend birth classes with birthmom. This was yet another amazing experience.

My first baby shower!

My colleague and good friend Patty hosted an amazing baby shower for me today. I was able to celebrate with many of the teachers I have worked with over the years. For the last six years I have been based at one particular school, but have had contact with teachers at various other schools. This year I am working across the whole district. Today was about getting together with the friends I have made in those other buildings, the retired teachers I once worked closely with (and in some cases still do), along with the people I share my office with. It was such a nice afternoon filled with good friends and lots of amazing food - thanks to Patty! Here are a few pics from today...

THE phone call!

Finally, after nearly a year of officially waiting, we got THE phone call. On September 3, 2008 the agency called with a profile opportunity. We got very excited, as we always did when we were profiled, but something felt different. If truly felt right from the very beginning. We had been profiled 3 other times, all more than six months prior to this call. It had been a very long time without a call!

I immediately called Chris to tell him the details of the case. It took a little bit of time to get in touch with him, which is not typical, but once I did, we both agreed that we wanted to be profiled! I called the agency back, but our family advocate was busy - probably calling other families, so I left a message with the receptionist. After a couple of hours I was feeling a little worried... what if the message didn't get through to our family advocate? I decided that this was not the time to have a mixed signal. We knew that the birth parent advocate was going out to meet with the birthmom that day. I called and confirmed that we were being profiled and felt much better. I was reassured that our profile was with the birthmother at that very moment and that she also had our video. Within an hour of that call, I got a call back.

Sue asked if I was driving - she knew from our last conversation that I was getting ready to leave work. I said no - then she asked if I was sitting. In my head I kept thinking OMG this is THE call. I can't believe she's going to say what I think she's going to say. Then she said it... the birthmom had chosen us to parent her child!!! I was totally ecstatic, yet at the same time, I had this feeling that this is what was supposed to happen. It all just felt so right.

A week later we were able to meet her and her mom for the first time. That meeting simply confirmed that we were in a perfect situation for us. We planned to meet again in 2 weeks. After one week, the birthmom called me to say that she had a sonogram scheduled and she asked if we would like to go with her. I just couldn't believe how much our lives had changed in such a short period of time. One week later we were having dinner with birthmom and her mom and the following week we were at an ultrasound seeing our SON for the very first time. It was so surreal.

So many people ask if it's weird to be in this situation, particularly with such an open adoption. I respond that it is so weird how normal the whole thing feels. Everything feels just right. Each time we meet or have dinner together, it just feels normal. It feels like being out with family. In fact, it would feel strange to even consider not seeing birthmom after the birth. We are very excited to be involved with such an open adoption. This is certainly not what we expected nearly two years ago when we considered starting the process, but it might just be exactly what we were hoping for when we finished our adoption classes.

How we arrived at adoption

Chris and I got married nearly 10 years ago, and we are just finally on the verge of starting our family. It seems funny to think that it's been so long. Once we got settled with our own home and I finished my master's degree, we figured we'd just get pregnant. Well, needless to say, that didn't exactly happen. After a multitude of tests, we found out that we have unexplained infertility. On one hand, it's nice to know that there's nothing "wrong" with either of us. On the other hand, we still don't know WHY this won't happen for us. We came to realize that how our child comes to us is not what is most important. What we really want is to be parents.

We explored adoption, both international and domestic. We chose domestic mostly because we would really like a newborn. We chose our agency and began our paperwork at the very end of July 2007. We were homestudy ready by September 23rd. Then we settled in to wait... and wait... and wait.